Andrew Wong Yang Aun

Location : Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

Today is my birthday but I've got nothing to celebrate. After what I have been going through the last couple of days, my birthday seems to be just another passing day, another dawn, another dusk...

Andrew was a "happening" guy, a well liked person and consistently jovial. He had a great sense of humour, mixed well with all crowds, frequented the trendiest clubs, knew the prettiest girls, sported the funkiest clothes and yet, if you ever needed him, he would NEVER think twice about dropping everything and come scorching down the streets to your rescue in his turbo-charged GTI car. He had a heart of gold and an endless supply of generousity. I envied Andrew a lot. I envied him for his youth, his vitality, his incredible strength, his guts, his physique, his character, his sensitivity, his tattoos and his ability to cook. Andrew's death comes as a complete shock to me. I'm shattered, devastated and disillusioned at the loss of Andrew. I'm going through a tough and trying time in my life at the moment - a time where I don't feel like seeing anyone, don't want to do anything and I find water in my eyes every once in a while. I always pictured myself still hanging out with him in the coming gray-hair days.

On the night of the day Andrew died, I dreamt that he came back to life choking and grasping for breath. The funny thing was that I didn't seem to feel any fear in me at all? I walked over to him, slapped him in the back and asked him what took him so long(to get up). After he composed himself, he explained that there was something in his throat that kept him from coming back to life. And after that, we were back to being our silly selves again.

In the summer of 2000, I travelled with Andrew, Alvin and Verena from Germany down to Italy. It was Andrew's first trip out of Malaysia and we were walking the streets of Rome heading to the Colloseum when a gipsy lady tried to pinch his wallet. I caught the gipsy woman red-handed and he felt eternally grateful. He said I shouted so loud I scared the shit out of him although he was the victim! I remember how he considered himself to be a jinx because a few days later, he had his shoes and his cap stolen when we were sleeping on the floor of the train station in Rome. He was walking around Rome barefoot, looking for the person that stole his shoes! I'm so glad we made that trip together because we had such a good time. I remember him coming on trips to the east coast with me because he wanted to try surfing. I remember him being one of the only 2 persons there to greet me when I came back to Malaysia in January.

The funeral service was a touching and emotional farewell. The congregation that attended Andrew's funeral were personally escorted by the policemen to guide them through traffic from the church grounds to the burial ground - all of them in a convoy of about 35-45 cars, maybe more. I know Andrew would have been SO proud if he could only know that it was all in honour of him because he loves car convoys. Andrew's dedicated friends who were not in Malaysia flew home just to attend his funeral. I never get to see all of them at once because we're all never in the same country together. In a way, it felt really good to see all of them again except for the fact that the missing link was Andrew. Ironic. Between the smiles and the conversational pieces reminiscing old times, I'm sure that in our own quiet time, Andrew's death becomes personal again. And once again, we find ourselves struggling hard to accept the fact that he has passed away...

When I look at the sorrow, despair and grief created after the loss of Andrew, I am all the more appreciative of the things I have in my life, however small they are or however much they mean. I love my life. I love the people around me and the personal friends I have around the world. However, I can't help but ask....why? I'm not at that stage in my life where I constantly see friends around me dying, but I do.....why? And then there are the things that were meant to be said but it was left unsaid, possibilities left unknown and questions left unanswered...

I'm really lucky to have had the chance of knowing him the last few years of his life rather than to have not known him at all. I'm going to miss Andrew. He was a really cool dude, a sensible buddy I could count on, a big tough guy with a soft heart and he went before his time.

Andrew you idiot, if you are out there somewhere....come back! Please......?

I'm mourning his loss but I hope it won't be for too long because I've got to try to get on with my life. I still wake up everyday feeling that Andrew's death was a dream and thinking that Andrew is still around. One day I will wake up knowing that my buddy is dead and buried. I guess that should indicate that I'm finally moving forward again.

I pray I never have to make a post like this on Mindriot, ever again.

Posted by Ripcord at November 8, 2003 07:26 AM